It’s likely that the fear we feel in making our art is similar to a fear we have felt at other times in our life when a possible trauma occurred. It is beyond the scope of this program, or our expertise to diagnose the cause of this fear that comes up when making art.

We can, however, speak in generalities from experience about several common sources of this fear.

Many of us had to behave in a certain way to maintain love from a parent or guardian. We experienced love that was conditional. In order to assure being loved, we felt we could not be ourselves. Children will learn to do and be anything necessary in order to feel loved. This is natural of course, but the outcome later in life is the unconscious creation of patterns of behavior that that limit us.

When we make art, especially if we are interested in making authentic art, we must allow ourselves to be seen more fully. This (understandably) is frightening, especially if it triggers old memories of having to appear differently so that love would not be denied us. We were taught to hide parts of ourselves, and then, and only then, would we receive love. For some of us, it takes a lifetime to understand that conditional love for a child is not actually love.

Opening ourselves to who we truly are, and showing ourselves to the world is our birthright and our work. Our soul craves this, and will not go quietly, but asks us to be more genuine. Making art is just part of the process of becoming more fully yourself.

A second challenge is around self worth. The traumatic experience of being under-valued by someone we loved or love is incredibly debilitating. This can show up later as feeling uncomfortable giving ourselves what we truly need. If we were unlovable, then how can we love ourselves? In art making, this often manifests in using cheap or poor quality art materials, or not using enough paint for fear of running out. Fear of selling, pricing or even showing our art to others could be linked to an earlier fear of rejection or the pain of being considered unworthy.

The practice of making art is the practice of becoming who you truly are. Try, if you can, to look at your art practice as a journey of healing and a way to stay present. Proactively do something positive, make something, create something in spite of what your challenges might be. The process of making art teaches us all that our own creativity and love is not dependent on anything outside of ourselves, but emanates from within each of us. Our art is a testament to this fact, and as it piles up behind us, like loved ones cheering us on, we will refill, and refuel ourselves, moving closer and closer to our true purpose and joy.

Remember, we are not alone in these feelings. We all have them in slightly different variations. Share what is challenging for you with those who support you, such as the community of artists in CVP. Fear is one of the biggest challenges that artists face, but it is also one that can be entirely eliminated. Sharing the feelings of fear will diminish them, not just for you but others as well.